If I could only see me now..

I have only shown this to a few, chosen people before now. It is kind of a brief look into me and the goings-on in my head. Enjoy.



I like classic rock and horror. I dig chicks with tattoos, and I think piercings are sexy. I am too lazy to workout, even though I tell myself to just about every day. I would have much more body art if I could afford it. I am in constant fear of my cancer coming back, yet I am not afraid of death. I have been used as a pincushion for years of chemotherapy and am able to swallow handfuls of pills at the same time. I sweat when I slumber and shower daily. I sometimes have trouble getting to sleep, however never have trouble staying up. I can't turn off my phone, but am almost never happy at who calls me. I want to grow up, but never want to grow old. I play video games in reality and pretend real life is a game. I stalk on the internet, but hide in real life. I think I am weak, but show that I am strong. I'm too damn confused to know what I am doing, but always have a plan to keep moving forward. My best friends influence me when I am heading towards Hell. My hand basket is full of unread literature and overheard music. An angel keeps me moving as he heels a Black Dog. I think I am Going to California when I'm just standing still. Still, that hideous strength that bodes well, seems to falter underneath it all. As I fall from my cathedral, I look up at red skyes and grasp my ribs in anticipation. I hit the floor running, but stand in one spot. My mind is friends with Plato, but gets lost alongside Descartes. I tend to be truant, but time is on my side. Money comes and goes, but I don't know how to spend it. Love flows in one ear and dances on my tongue while I see the ones I swoon over get plucked like daisies. I may not be a writer, but I know how to talk. My hand can't move fast enough for my thoughts as my mind does jumping jacks. I try to quiet it all by making a lot of noise, and that's how I like it. Keep moving forward or the boogey man will get'cha. My life is in Chas plus a big "O" makes peace. My paper is a battlefield and my pen is the cannon. So strap on that kevlar, because it's never going to end. No sir, it is never going to-